


Hiraeth

by Sweetfin



Series: Triangulum Entangulum [1]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Bill Cipher Being Bill Cipher, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/F, Human Bill Cipher, M/M, Older Dipper Pines, Post-Weirdmageddon, Protective Mabel Pines, Slow Burn, Triangle Bill Cipher, pacifica and mabel's relationship is the cutest thing ever, while dipper and bill are constantly screaming at each other like little kids
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:15:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25493734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sweetfin/pseuds/Sweetfin
Summary: When a twenty-six-year-old Dipper Pines ends up back in Gravity Falls, he wasn't expecting the return of a certain triangular dream demon. Only this time he's...less triangular.Dipper definitely wasn't expecting to catch feelings for said demon, either.With new mysteries, secrets, and the looming threat of the incoming apocalypse, Dipper doesn't know who to trust anymore.
Relationships: Bill Cipher/Dipper Pines, Pacifica Northwest/Mabel Pines
Series: Triangulum Entangulum [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1846798
Comments: 12
Kudos: 72





	1. Ring Ring, Hello?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill contemplates what he's really doing with his life, while Dipper gets an interesting phone call.

Waiting.

 _WaitingWaitingWaitingWaiting_ -

It's all Bill's ever done.

 _Waiting_ for someone to make a deal with him, while the burning realm of nightmares slowly crumbled to the ground around him. _Waiting_ for the rift between dimensions to open, so the day one trillion years prophesied could finally come to pass. _Waiting_ for an equation that he'd never get, with a newfound infinite power that would be ripped away from him as quick as it came. _Waiting alone in the forest for someone to help him_.

This time was no different from the rest.

Bill didn't know how many years had passed at this point. How many years since his unimaginable defeat at the hand of an _old man_ in his _underwear_. He still remembered the panic he felt, as the fire spread, closing off all his possible exits. The panic he felt as he was slowly being _erased from existence_. The King of Nightmares, an All-Seeing, _ALL-KNOWING DREAM DEMON_ , was ultimately reduced to a statue in some _stupid hick town_!

He began to wonder if it was karma. For all the thousands of lives he'd ruined, galaxies and worlds destroyed with a single snap of his fingers. _The fire he started that wiped the Second Dimension off the face of the multiverse. The fire that killed everyone he had ever known. The fire that-_

No. It wasn't worth thinking about anymore. It hardly _mattered_ anymore. 

Bill didn't regret it at all. He definitely didn't.

He had come here to liberate this dimension, and it was finally time he finished the job.

With almost all of his eyes-everywhere defaced and destroyed, one still remained untouched.

In a small clearing somewhere in the woods, Bill Cipher stood frozen, eye open and watching.

All he needed was a pawn.

All he needed was someone to shake his hand.

Bill was done waiting.

~~~~~

Dipper Pines stared at the worn journal in his hands. Dust had collected on the cover and sides, from years of just sitting around, rarely being touched. A silver pine tree was displayed on the front, shining in the sunlight coming in through the window next to him. Mabel had given it to him thirteen years ago to keep track of the adventures the two of them had.

Except nothing ever happened.

No monsters, gnomes, ghosts.... _demons_.

Nothing at all.

Dipper thought he was going insane at first, because of the sheer lack of _weirdness_.

He couldn't find an explanation for it.

And so, Dipper sat in the cold emptiness of his apartment and laid face-down on his couch.

Sure, there were plenty of other things he could be doing right now that were actually _productive,_ but he was _already sitting down_ , and his phone was _so far away_...yeah, he wouldn't be getting up for a while.

It was very hard to believe that Dipper was an adult now, _a functioning member of society_! He still felt like a sweaty thirteen-year-old. Now, he was just a sweaty twenty-six-year-old. Not much had changed.

After their first summer in Gravity Falls, Dipper and Mabel had begged their parents to let them stay another summer in the small Oregon town, and they had complied. But everything that made Gravity Falls, _Gravity Falls_ , was completely gone. It was still nice to see Stan and Ford, and hear about their encounters and adventures from around the globe. Or find out that Soos and Melody were now happily married, and moving to Portland. But things just weren't the same, and it _bothered_ Dipper. Stan and Ford thought it was for the best, that all the monsters and mysteries were too 'dangerous' and 'Dipper stop trying to summon creatures from different dimensions'.

 _Pssshhh_ , what did they know?

 _Okay_ , maybe they knew a lot more about the supernatural than Dipper did, but that still didn't change anything! He was more than capable at figuring out why all the weirdness had vanished, and he would prove it!

....If only he'd gotten some actual evidence in the years since it had happened.

Whatever, he'd probably find some soon. 

Emphasis on the _probably_ part.

Dipper had decided to pursue writing as a career, unsurprisingly. The amount of summers he had spent writing in a journal was astronomical at this point. Not like there was much to write about, though. He currently resided in a town just outside of his old home in Piedmont California, but still visited Gravity Falls whenever he could. Mabel had moved to L.A. when she started a business selling bedazzled clothing (mostly sweaters) with Candy and Grenda, but Dipper still saw her basically every-other-day, which he was grateful for. He didn't know what he'd do without Mabel. Dipper would be all alone, a part of him missing.

 _Alone_.

He didn't like the word.

~~~~~

It was three in the afternoon when Mabel had called.

It had woken Dipper up from his dreamless sleep, which left him wondering when he even _fell_ asleep. Last Dipper checked he was reflecting on life, _again_.

"Dipping Sauce!" If he wasn't fully awake yet, Mabel's overly-excited voice definitely did the trick.

"Hey, Mabel. What's up?"

"Um, a lot actually!" He heard her hesitate for a moment before speaking again. "But it...it might be best if you just come here. How fast can you get to Gravity Falls?" 

"Mabel, you know I've been passed out on the couch of my apartment all-day, right? It's going to take me a while to get there. When did _you_ even get there?" 

"I've only been here for a few days now, but Dip, it's urgent...it's...it's Bill-related." If Dipper was drinking something right now, he totally would've done the thing you see in shows and movies where the person dramatically spits their beverage everywhere.

" _WHAT_?! But-But how? He's _dead_. He couldn't possibly be... _back_!"

"Believe me I was as surprised as you were, but that's why we really need you here right now. So, uh, yeah! Also, I made Waddles a sweater! Isn't that just adorable? I'll send you a picture!"

"Mabel I'm sure it's _wonderful,_ but I really feel like we should talk about the whole Bill-thing-"

"Whoops! My phone's on like one-percent! I'll call you back, bro-bro! See you!"

"Mabel wait-!" The line went dead. He had gotten a text from Mabel soon after.

Darn. That sweater _was_ pretty cute.

No- _Focus, Dipper_. He could look at that later.

Gravity Falls. Bill. Danger. _Not good!_

Dipper started taking a few deep breaths to try and calm himself down before he _completely lost it_.

There hadn't been news about Bill for at least a few years now. Of course, there was the occasional theory or conspiracy that would go around, but nothing that was really any cause for alarm. No one would dare go near the statue in the woods, and you could feel a shift in the air when you were coming close to it. Like a warning that said (not really _said_ , more like _screamed in your face_ because it didn't understand the concept of an inside voice), "BACK OFF YOU IDIOTIC THREE-DIMENSIONAL LIFE-FORMS OR I'LL DISASSEMBLE YOUR MOLECULES!". That's the vibe Dipper got from it, at least.

Dipper's first instinct was to make a super long list-plan-thing to prepare for anything that could go wrong, but looking back at the party with Wendy and the clones (he still missed Tyrone sometimes...), Dipper decided that wasn't the best idea. So he ended up just getting a ticket for the soonest bus that was leaving for Gravity Falls and hoped everything would turn out okay in the end. 

He really, really hoped things would turn out okay.

**_Vdz klv rzq glphqvlrq exuq._ **

**_Plvvhv krph dqg fdq'w uhwxuq._ **


	2. It's Got Plastic Dinosaurs!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dipper returns to Gravity Falls. Mabel is...Mabel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh god this needs to be edited so badly but it's like 2 am and i just want to sleep.

Dipper stepped onto the bus, backpack slung around his shoulders with extra clothes, some old pens that were visibly chewed-up out of habit, and his journal that he had a feeling would finally get some use, inside the bag.

He found a seat towards the back and sighed. He took out his journal and flipped to the last page that had been written in.

It was from over a year ago, and it was just a poorly drawn sketch of a gnome puking up a rainbow.

Dipper closed the book. 

After what seemed like forever, the bus finally reached the small Oregon town. Dipper stood up, his legs numb from sitting so long, and made his way off the vehicle. He looked around, taking in his surroundings. Even though it was dark out, Dipper could clearly see the water tower in the distance, graffiti muffin-explosion and all, and he didn't know why, but it gave him a strange sense of calmness and nostalgia that quickly washed over him. 

It faded almost immediately when he recalled why he had gone there in the first place. Could Bill have actually survived erasure from the memory gun? It wasn’t impossible, Dipper supposed. If Stan got all his memories back, _and he certainly remembered Bill_ , wouldn’t that mean Bill could return too? Dipper was shocked that it had taken him _this long_ to realize that Bill Cipher was most likely very much alive, and very _, very angry_. There still was a chance that he was dead, though. Quite a small chance at that, but still a chance! Dipper didn’t know if he could go through something as traumatic as literally being _possessed_ , and then having to live through an entire apocalypse again. It just...was too much for him, and that was saying a lot. Even if facing Bill had given Dipper more confidence, he held onto that hope that the demon still might be dead with an iron grip, never letting go.

He started walking down the dirt path that led to the Mystery Shack, trying not to step on what seemed like hundreds of signs placed wherever you looked, that read things such as "WE PUT THE 'FUN' IN 'NO REFUNDS'!" and "THE MYSTERY SHACK TEAM IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR DEATH AND/OR DISMEMBERMENT!" Ah, _memories_.

Dipper reached the Shack door (while tripping over a giant S that never seemed to stay up) and knocked.

A few minutes passed.

He was about to knock again when-

"BRO-BRO YOU'RE HERE!" His sister exclaimed as she opened the door.

Dipper heard his Great Uncle shout something along the lines of, "For the love of God, it's the middle of the night! _Some people_ are trying to sleep!" from somewhere inside.

"SORRY GRUNKLE STAN!" Mabel yelled back in response. " _Bro-Bro, you're here!_ " She repeated, a bit quieter this time. 

“Nice to see you too, Mabes.” Dipper laughed as she hugged him and welcomed him inside. Dipper glanced at the clock hanging on a nearby wall. Three A.M. exactly. 

Well. _That certainly didn’t seem ominous at all_.

It didn’t help the fact that Dipper felt like something, _or someone_ , was watching his every move.

Eh, it was probably nothing.

“Uh, so…” Dipper paused. “How’s it hanging?” Wow, real smooth Dipper. Not being awkward with _your own sister_ at all!

Mabel gave a short laugh, but her face eventually downcast into a much more grim expression. “I really wish I could say things were hanging great broseph, but...we’ve got some big problems. I even wore my serious sweater just for this occasion!” Dipper hadn’t noticed until Mabel had pointed it out, but she was wearing a dull gray sweater with the word “SERIOUS” written on it in big letters. 

Dipper’s mind automatically went to the worst, but most probable outcome. “Bill’s coming back, isn’t he?”

Mabel fidgeted with her fingers, as she broke eye-contact with Dipper. “We...don’t know for sure, really. It _could_ mean something super-duper huge, or it’s just another dead ended mystery.” Mabel sighed. “It’s probably better if you just see what’s been happening. Great Uncle Ford wanted to show you in the morning. He’s...been having a lot of panic attacks lately, and we’ve had to get rid of almost anything that even slightly resembles a triangle. You can’t blame him though, he faced the worst of Bill’s chaos during Weirdmageddon.” Mabel’s usual bright expression, full of energy, was a much more somber frown. Dipper already knew what Mabel was thinking about before she even needed to say anything.

The younger of the twins put a reassuring hand on the other’s shoulder. “Mabel, Weirdmageddon wasn’t your fault. You can’t blame yourself for anything that happened then.” 

Dipper could make out the forming of tears on his sister’s face. “But it was! If I wasn’t so selfish a-and stupid, none of it would have ever happened! It _was_ my fault, Dipper! I caused the end of the world just because I was scared of growing up!”

“Mabel, listen to me. First of all, we were _twelve_ , and there was no possible way you could have known about the rift. You were having the worst day of your life, and it was almost the end of summer. Who wouldn’t want a chance at making the good times we had last forever?” Mabel didn’t seem that convinced. Still, Dipper persisted with his point. “And let’s not forget the fact that Bill tricked _all of us_! Bill was a manipulator, and he twisted the truth until he got exactly what he wanted. Weirdmageddon was his fault, not yours. Don’t beat yourself up over it, okay? You’re a good person, Mabel, and the best sister I could ever ask for. I trust you.”

In an instant Dipper was pulled into an almost too-tight Awkward Sibling Hug. “Thanks, Dip. I...needed that.” As they separated, Mabel smiled and-

Slapped a sticker right in between Dipper’s eyes. “See you in the morning Dip-Dop!” 

“Wait, Mabel! Where am I going to,” Before Dipper could say another word, Mabel had already run up the stairs. “Sleep.”

Dipper peeled the sticker off his face and glanced at it before sticking it on whatever object was nearest to him. The thing read “MEOW-WOW!” in bold sparkly letters, with a picture of a winking cat face underneath it. Dipper wished he could say he was surprised.

As Dipper followed Mabel’s route upstairs a few minutes behind, he tried to open the door to the old bedroom they had shared during their previous summers, but found the door was locked with glitter and rainbow sprinkles seeping through the cracks.

Mabel had claimed ownership of that room, for now.

The next place he tried was the attic. _The same room he made a deal with Bill in_. Dipper figured he’d sleep on the area attached to the huge window in there. Sure it was small, _and brought back memories of his completely justified fear of puppets_ , but Dipper was fine with it.

At least, that’s what he told himself.

***

In the morning, Dipper found that he had only gotten about two hours of sleep. _His never ending nightmares made sure of that_. 

He eventually made his way downstairs, still in the same clothes from the previous day, and searched for any signs of human life. 

After a few seconds of looking around Dipper saw Stan and Mabel sitting down at a table in the kitchen. Mabel seemed to be trying to convince Stan into drinking an entire pitcher of _Mabel Juice_ , plastic dinosaurs and all, to which Stan was greatly opposed to.

“You didn’t tell me your nerdy brother was here, Mabel.” Stan gave a nod to Dipper, acknowledging his arrival. 

"Hey, Grunkle Stan! How've you been?" Dipper asked the man, pulling over a chair to sit down and join in whatever conversation was going on.

After a few minutes of catching up, Mabel turned to Dipper, an enormous smile on her face.

“Dipper, do you want some Mabel Juice? _You know you want some..._ ” 

Dipper laughed. “I still can't believe you still make that stuff.”

“Uh, of course I do! It’s only the best drink in the entire multiverse!” Mabel shook the pitcher up and down, trying to display it for all to see.

“I uh, I think I’ll pass this time Mabes. Maybe next time…?” Dipper glanced over at her with an unsure smile.

“Ugh, you two just don’t understand the amazing-ness of it!” Mabel got up to put her concoction of coffee-nightmares back into the fridge.

“Whatever you say, kid.” Stan was pretending to be upset, but both twins could see him holding back a smile at Mabel’s antics.

Then, almost out of nowhere, there was a loud crash, followed by a scream, then finally ending with someone walking into the room, holding some kind of laser-gun.

“I may or may not have disintegrated one of the walls into a flaming pile of ash, but I think I have it under control.”

“Oh great. The _other_ nerd.”

_**Vdbv kh'v kdssb, kh'v d oldu.** _  
_**Eodph wkh duvrq iru wkh iluh.** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fic isn't dead i swear i'm just a master procrastinator. here's my tumblr btw https://sweetfin.tumblr.com/


	3. A High Probability

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enter Stanford Pines: bringer of bad news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it is currently 3:21 AM and i know i need to fix like a million things in this chapter but i'm tired and impatient and posting it now.

“Dipper! I didn’t expect to see you here so soon!” Stanford smiled, but he was blatantly on-edge about something.

“Yeah, Mabel called me last night, said you uh, needed me here for something?” Dipper shuffled his feet on the floor anxiously as he took a sip of the Pitt Cola can he snagged while Mabel and Stan weren’t looking.

“Yes, there’s been some rather... _concerning_ news that’s been surfacing around lately.” Ford’s arms crossed as his gaze drifted over to the side. His expression wasn’t one of fear, or anger, but instead he just looked tired. Not like a “ _I haven’t slept in over forty-eight hours_!” tired either, _Dipper knew firsthand what that looked like_ , but an almost _hopeless_ looking stare.

Dipper and Mabel both exchanged nervous glances with each other.

“Concerning like... _Bill_ -concerning? Or you know, _the-FBI-is-after-us-again_ concerning?” Dipper decided to ask.

“ _T_ _here’s a high probability that there’s going to be another apocalypse_ concerning, my boy.” Everyone grimaced at that, and Ford caught wind quickly. “N-Now, now! I assure you there’s a way to fix this before any real collateral damage to our world is caused. You see,” Ford reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a notepad and pen. He began to sketch out what looked like Bill’s statue. “For the first time in thirteen years, supernatural activity has started happening at no other place than Cipher’s frozen stone corpse. Now, while I would like to pass all of the recent rumors circulating around off as just speculation, I visited the statue myself and used a device that checks for anything supernatural or paranormal. The readings...they were off the charts. I haven’t seen numbers that high since Weirdmageddon began. Without a doubt, Bill is still alive.”

Stan pinched the bridge of his nose, clearly aggravated. “So even though I punched the damn thing out of existence, he’s still hanging around that dumb rock?”

“Yeah, Great Uncle Ford, we _saw_ Bill get erased from Grunkle Stan’s mind. How could he come back?” Mabel seemed to have asked the question everyone around her had been thinking.

“That’s the thing. If all of Stanley’s memories returned, then that could have given Bill a chance to return along with them.”

Well. That had just confirmed every one of Dipper’s earlier suspicions.

Ford went back to his drawing, and started to scribble in small cracks on the stone. “This wouldn’t be a problem in itself, knowing that Cipher is currently trapped in his old physical form, but...with time, and most likely Bill’s influence, the statue has started to deteriorate. If Bill breaks free,” A rift was drawn in the space above the statue, as Ford added all of the creatures of the Nightmare Realm partying, Bill included. “It would reverse all of our sacrifices, and bring forth the end all over again.”

Dipper already knew this kind of information was coming, but it still hurt to hear. This whole situation sucked real hard, man. Dipper always wanted something _more_ in his life, but more triangular-demon-related trauma was _definitely not it_.

Ford lightened up as he raised a finger. “But! As I stated before, if we act quickly, we can prevent Bill’s chaos. I still have some alien adhesive remaining that Dipper helped me retrieve years ago, and if we patch up all of the broken spots on Bill’s effigy, we can contain him for the time being.”

Dipper hated to admit it but that...didn’t seem like the most reliable plan. This was Bill they were dealing with. Putting that adhesive on the statue would be like trying to fix it with Duct Tape and then hoping for the best. “Great Uncle Ford, aren’t there any other options? I feel like this isn’t going to do much in terms of stopping Bill.”

Ford sighed. “What other choice do we have?”

***

Dipper paced around the old bedroom in the Shack, with Mabel sitting on a bed nearby. She had definitely added her own touches to the place since Dipper had last been up here. Posters of boy bands that Dipper had vaguely heard of (most notably Sev’ral Timez) and a few arts ‘n crafts projects littered the walls, with different colors of paint and glitter splattered almost everywhere else.

“How can Ford just...just accept that this might not even do anything! _We_ have to do something! We have to go out and find a way to stop this, Mabel!” 

“Woah, Dip, you gotta calm down. I know this isn’t ideal but it’s the only plan we’ve got right now.” Mabel looked off to the side. “I mean, we can’t even ask people in town for ideas or help with the stupid “Nevermind All That” thing, and all the supernatural creatures are gone too.” Mabel gloomily traced triangles with her finger onto the bedspread. “Is it bad that I kind of miss the unicorns, Dipper? Oh, and the gnomes! And Multibear! Though really, he was more _your_ dork friend than mine. What...what _happened_ to everyone?” 

Wait a second. 

Something clicked in Mabel’s mind.

“Hey, Dipper, I think I just figured something out. Something that we like, totally should have thought of a bajillion years ago.”

Dipper turned to look at his sister as he chewed on a pen. “Yeah? Hit me with it.”

“What if...What if _Bill_ was the cause of the weirdness? Think about it! As soon as Bill disappeared, so did half of the residents of Gravity Falls! Boom, mind-blown!” Mabel moved her hands to look like an explosion against her head as she made a dramatic noise to go along with it.

Dipper paused. “That... _actually makes a lot of sense_. Ford told me that this town was a weirdness magnet, but what if _Bill’s_ the thing that draws everything strange here? It would explain his fixation on the town, and why when he vanished everything went with him.” Dipper walked over to Mabel and sat down next to her. “If we summon his Mindscape form and render him powerless right after, we could probably bring the weirdness back, and get a few answers to our questions out of him in the process.

Mabel looked at Dipper, a huge smile plastered to her face. “You thinking what I’m thinking, Bro-Bro?”

Dipper returned the smile as he readjusted Wendy's old hat on his head. It was a little worse for wear, but he still kept it after all this time. He wondered if Wendy still had his old Pine Tree hat. “Mystery Twins?”

“Mystery Twins.”

***

They waited until midnight to leave and venture into the forest surrounding the Shack.

It wasn’t too hard to not wake up Stan and Ford, considering Dipper had been doing this sort of thing since he was twelve, and Mabel was a self-proclaimed “Stealth Expert”.

It wasn’t long before the twins found it.

Bill’s frozen form was illuminated by a faint blue light.

Dipper suddenly had an awful feeling in his gut about being here. Something wasn’t right, and only now Dipper came to realize the sheer stupidity of this plan.

“Mabes…? I think this was a _really bad idea_.” He heard Mabel answer him, but she sounded muffled and far away, almost as if she was underwater. 

Suppressed memories flooded back to Dipper when he took one glance at that stupid, stupid, _stupid rock_!

Bill had tricked Dipper and possessed his body.

Bill had shattered the rift between dimensions and caused the apocalypse.

Bill had taken his Great Uncle captive and tortured him.

Bill was about to kill Dipper to get the equation from Ford.

Bill was _going_ to kill Mabel to get the equation from Ford.

Bill was inside of Stan’s mind. 

Bill _is_ inside of the statue.

_Bill Cipher is gone and isn’t coming back!_

Dipper kicked the statue at full-force, snapping the arm off in a matter of seconds.

Mabel’s screaming and an unearthly echoing, all-too familiar laugh were the last things Dipper heard before he blacked out.

**_Rqh zdb wr devroyh klv fulph._ **   
**_D gliihuhqw irup, d gliihuhqw wlph._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyyyy look I updated!! And it only took two months instead of six this time around, way to go me!! I have most of the next chapter written out already so it shouldn't take nearly as long to come out. I also changed the title of the fic if you didn't already know. I've been meaning to do that for a while, I just felt like the old one was kinda not creative lmao.
> 
> My tumblr: https://sweetfin.tumblr.com/


	4. Must Suck to Be You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dipper and Bill catch up like the great friends they are.

Dipper opened his eyes only to be met with a world that was flickering back and forth, not deciding to stay on one plane of reality. It went from the colorful world he was used to, to the bleak grays of the mindscape that he had missed _oh so much_. Illuminated in front of him was the same yellow triangle he vividly remembered from his childhood, bowtie and top hat included.

“WELL, WELL, WELL!” The manic dream demon glowed with each shattering syllable he spoke, as he tipped his hat to Dipper. “Look who’s decided to come crawling back after thirteen LONG, AND EXCRUCIATINGLY PAINFUL years!”

“ _Bill_...?”

“Uh, YEAH. Who else were you expecting to see, _Pine Tree_?” Bill narrowed his eye at Dipper. “You come to _my_ statue, and then act surprised when I show up.” 

“Look, up until now you haven’t been exactly obvious about still being alive. I guess everyone just assumed you were--!“

“What, _DEAD_?"Bill laughed, _that laugh_ , but it increasingly got more distorted until it was just screeching noise. Bill’s eye widened as he turned a dark shade of red. “I might as well be.” The demon admitted. “Not like I can actually do _ANYTHING_ anymore! Spoiler alert kid, getting wiped outta someone’s mind isn’t as fun as it seems.” Bill faded back to yellow and seemed to calm down as he adjusted his bowtie. His intimidating gaze drifted off to the side.

“Yeah, you seem,” Dipper looked Bill up and down. “Awful, just...really bad, to be honest. It amazes me that you’re somehow still alive.” Almost proving this statement, Bill was wavering in and out of reality, his form glitching and struggling to stay in one spot and not just scattering into thousands of pieces across the universe. He was just barely present, but definitely still there. Dipper never thought he’d see it, but Bill actually looked _sad_. A kind of sadness that showed how badly being stuck here had affected him. Dipper remembered Ford telling him that Bill had been trapped in his own decaying dimension for trillions of years. Finally being free during Weirdmageddon, getting everything he’d ever wanted his whole life, and then getting trapped again must have been like, a huge middle finger from the universe directed entirely at Bill.

Dipper almost wanted to laugh, but knew that he’d probably get absolutely demolished if he did.

Leaning up against the frozen stone hat of his corpse, Bill began speaking again. “SO! Something’s got you extremely desperate if you’re coming to _me_ of all demonic abominations for help. What’s got your underwear in a twist, Pine Tree? Figured you’d be off figuring out all the mysteries and secrets of the universe by now! Not bothering your ol’ pal Bill Cipher for... _whatever it is that you want_!”

Dipper crossed his arms over his chest and avoided eye-contact with Bill, which proved to be much more difficult than Dipper initially thought. “Shouldn’t you know already? I thought you were “always watching”, or whatever.”

Bill looked insulted. “Hey, I said I knew LOTS OF THINGS, not everything! Also I’m certain you’re aware that I’ve been _stuck in the same spot in the woods for thirteen years_. It’s been a hot minute since I’ve known the latest gossip. All I’ve seen is the same patch of grass, the same trees, the same _everything_ for all of that time! So tell me kid,” Bill’s eye faded to that same dark red from before. “ _Why are you here_?”

Dipper pinched the bridge of his nose. “Look, I-I know you’re the cause of the weirdness in Gravity Falls, and I just need to ask you a few questions about something,” Dipper was cut off by Bill’s piercing laughter. “...What? What’s so funny?”

“Kid, I don’t attract the weirdness to this dumb town! It attracts _ME_.”

 _Did Dipper just bring back the over-glorified corn chip that almost killed him and his entire family for nothing_? “T-That doesn’t make sense! You’re the only one who...I thought that...” If Bill had a mouth, he would definitely be smiling right now. Something about Dipper being frustrated and wrong about _literally anything_ brought Bill some sick sense of joy. Dipper rolled his eyes. “Explain. _Please_.” 

“Gladly!” Bill’s eye started projecting images like an old-fashioned movie. “Oddness from all over the multiverse is strangely, mysteriously drawn to this place, and then later trapped inside. Because of an alien ship that crash landed here thousands of years ago, the town of Gravity Falls _itself_ is a weirdness magnet, not me. It’s why paranormal and supernatural entities like myself spend so much time hanging around it. It’s _also_ why I couldn’t _escape_ this town during Weirdmageddon. I needed that stupid equation from Sixer to collapse the barrier keeping all the weirdness contained here, reversing the town’s magnetic pull.” Bill returned to normal, then put his hands on his strange angle-hips. “Understand now?” 

Dipper nodded. He only got about half a word in before Bill inevitably cut him off again.

“Woah, woah, woah! Before we move forward, I’m still VERY INCLINED to know exactly _WHY_ you wanna know all this, Pine Tree!”

Dipper sighed, glancing down. “Almost all of the weirdness in Gravity Falls has disappeared. And no one, _not even Ford_ , knows why.” Bill looked at him with disbelief, then quickly snapped out of it and began laughing.

“Nice one, kid! Almost had me there for a minute!” There was a round of applause coming from a non-existent crowd, as Bill slow-clapped.

“I’m telling the truth! Gravity Falls, and possibly the whole world, is in danger, and you’re the only one left that I know can help!” _Weeeell_...that might have been an exaggeration. Dipper was almost certain he could make a backup plan if things didn’t work out well enough with Bill.

Bill raised his hands up in mock defense. “Alright, alright, let’s say hypothetically I _did_ believe your ABSOLUTELY HEART WRENCHING story!” Bill reached inside his...bricks...and pulled out a live beating heart, gave a nod to it, before tossing it in Dipper’s general direction. Bill looked disappointed when Dipper dodged the oncoming bloody projectile “Why should I even bother helping _YOU_? I’m not just giving away my services for free, y’know. Especially not to a certain _SOMEONE_ who TRIED TO ERASE ME from that SAD EXCUSE FOR A MIND your uncle’s got! So, unless you wanna make a _deal_ ,” Bill’s eye lit up an electrifying blue color. “You’re ‘outta luck, kid.”

Dipper already regretted his words before they left his mouth, but...what better option did he have? Actually, now that Dipper was really thinking about how stupid a plan this was, there were probably _so many other things_ he could do, rather than to go to _Bill Cipher_ of all creatures for help, but he had already come all this way...so... _what the hell_ , Dipper figured. It was worth a shot. “What if I...what if I said I wanted to make a deal?”

Bill looked genuinely surprised. And then he immediately burst out laughing. _Again_. He wiped away a tear from his eye as his hysterics finally came to a close, much to Dipper’s relief. “Boy, that’s _rich_ , coming from you. What kind of sick trick are ya tryna pull on me, Pine Tree? What could _you_ possibly have to offer _me_ , of all demons.”

“Your freedom.” Dipper blurted out, not even realizing what he was saying until the damage had already been done.

Bill stopped his casual, smug demeanor in almost an instant. The air was dead silent around the two as he floated closer to Dipper. Bill almost always had some sort of quick quip or response ready to say in return to anything, or even just some kind of unfunny joke to humiliate Dipper even further but...not this time around. Bill said _absolutely nothing_ as he stared wide-eyed, directly at Dipper, with such a burning intensity that it would without a doubt drive most creatures to madness. 

“Are you serious?” Were the only words that left the triangle’s lack of a mouth.

“Y-Yeah? I think? I mean not like Weirdmageddon-free, but I could get you out of the statue. Of course that is, if you help me figure out what happened to the town.”

Bill turned around, debating whether taking Dipper’s offer was worth it or not. Dipper saw images he had never seen before, but still felt he recognized, flash across Bill’s eye before pausing on the silhouette of a pine tree. Now facing Dipper again, Bill extended his hand out as it ignited in his signature blue fire.

“Alright, kid. You got yourself a deal.”

Dipper paused. Was there really any way Bill would keep his word, and be a legitimate source of help for Dipper? Oh, of course not. Dipper wasn’t an idiot (okay maybe _sometimes_ his decisions aren’t the greatest, _but that’s not the point_ ), and he knew that if he learned anything from past deals with Bill, it was that this time he needed to make precautions. And it wasn’t like he was _alone_ in this right? He had Mabel, and Stan, and Ford, and so many other people he could reach out to for help if something did happen. Dipper wasn’t _twelve_ anymore, he knew what he was doing. _Right_?

Bill rolled his eye, as his patience began to run out. “Clock’s a tickin’, Pine Tree. Haven’t got all day here!”

Dipper reached out to take Bill’s hand, but hesitated before grabbing it. “Wait!” Bill did his form of raising an eyebrow to Dipper. “If I do this, you have to promise to _actually help_. And you can’t hurt me, or my family either.”

Bill absently waved a hand, acknowledging what Dipper said. Or at least, Dipper hoped he did. “Fine. Now C’MON! This has taken up way too much time in my already very busy schedule!”

Dipper scoffed. “How busy could it possibly be? I’m literally the first person that’s talked to you since Weirdmageddon.”

“OH MY GOD, JUST SHAKE MY HAND ALREADY!” Bill grabbed Dipper’s hand, and shook it a little more aggressively than normal. Dipper felt a physical chill go up his spine as the deed was done.

Dipper backed away and put his hands in his pockets, feeling like he had just made a decision he would come to regret later on. Which he probably would.

“Now, get me out of here before I start eradicating ALL OF THE OXYGEN ON THE PLANET leading to GLOBAL ASPHYXIATION!” 

“Uh...how would I...do...that?”

Bill sighed. “Of course, of course. Because I have to do EVERYTHING MYSELF NOWADAYS!” Dipper tried to interject, but Bill held up a hand, stopping him. “All you have to do is shake the statue’s hand.”

Shit. 

Dipper picked up the forgotten, broken arm off of the ground. Bill’s eye widened. “So... _about that_ …”

“ _SHIT_.”  
  


**_Abxip tfqe abjlkp zljb tfqe rkhkltk zlkpbnrbkzbp_**.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bill's finally here! wow i've had this chapter written for like a really long time, it's probably one of my favorites
> 
> thank you to everyone who's left comments and kudos so far, you guys are the best <3


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